A lot of people will tell you that you should just be happy with yourself as you are.
“Don’t change yourself for someone. If they don’t like you as you are, they don’t deserve you.”
This is the type of statement you would hear from family and friends.
They tell you this because they would be uncomfortable with you changing.
People don’t like when someone becomes better than them because it makes them feel inferior.
The same is the case with your family, friends and co-workers.
If you try to change something about yourself, e.g. eating healthy meals, becoming more social, approaching beautiful women in coffeeshops or working out daily, they will comment on it.
“Why are you approaching that woman here? It’s not normal, she’s here to study.”
“Why are you eating fish and vegetables? Enjoy yourself and eat a burger just like we do.”
“Why don’t you join us for happy hour at the bar instead of wasting your time at the gym? You don’t have the athleticism to build a good body.”
The sad truth is that many of your closest friends and family members will do anything they can to keep you at their level.
This includes making you feel bad for wanting to make a positive change in your life and making fun of you when you fail (and you will fail if you try to change something that is difficult).
But you know what? There’s not much you can do about that besides ignoring them. No amount of explaining will make your friends and family understand that you want to make a positive change.
It’s human nature to want to be better than other people, and when someone in your group wants to “break out” and become better than you, you keep them down. Just accept human nature as it is, and don’t try to change people.
Instead, make the change yourself because it’s 100% worth it.
What’s It Like To Have A Great Body?
For years my family told me that I shouldn’t “waste” my time on eating tuna and chicken breast and training like a bodybuilder.
They said that I’m not genetically gifted enough to build a great physique and that I should focus on the books instead since I excel as a student.
Luckily, I never believed them.
I had seen with my two own eyes that countless people online had transformed their bodies.
I had seen with my two own eyes that lean and muscular guys get more positive attention and better treatment than skinny-fat and fat guys.
That’s all I needed to know that it’s possible to transform your body and that transforming your body will transform your entire life.
And guess what happened when I finally transformed my body from 200 pounds of skinny-fatness to 200 pounds of muscle?
Random girls on the street locked their eyes on me and smiled at me.
When I was in crowded places girls would often find an excuse to touch my shoulders and arms. In the beginning I didn’t notice this, I thought it was accident, but then I realised this never happened before.
Guys in public would often ask me if I workout, and guys at the gym would start asking me for permission to use equipment that was in my area even when I was using other equipment.
Service workers would give me better treatment. Instead of making me wait they would apologise for making me wait and hurry so they could service me.
These may sound like “small” things, because they are.
A Great Body Improved My Life More Than I Could Ever Imagine
The biggest change was mental. I felt more confident and as if I could do anything.
Since I transformed my body, I always think that because I was able to overcome my biggest obstacle in life, I can overcome anything.
This kind of confidence can’t be faked, and is very visible in how you behave and look.
Also, it’s a great comfort to be able to go to the beach or park shirtless in the spring or summer and run around, do some pull ups while feeling 100% comfortable in your own skin. You can’t put a price on that kind of comfort, confidence and difference in treatment from other people.
Before, having a great body I had no social life, no interest from girls, played online games all day long, never read books, never wrote in my spare time and hated exercise.
I’m genuinely happy with my life and I credit much of my success to my body transformation since it enabled me to get all these things.
I don’t want to lose what I have now, and I could see myself living as I do forever.
I Would Take Health Over Wealth Anytime
Finally, before ending this newsletter, I want to emphasize the importance of health over wealth.
To me, health is defined as being comfortable in your own skin, being able to move properly (running, sprinting, jumping, pull ups, push ups, muscle ups) and being genuinely happy because you spend most of your day in a “fulfilled and relaxed state”.
Now think about the rich guy who has all the money in the world, yet he has a terrible body, can’t move properly and spends his entire day working to make more money that he doesn’t need.
No matter how much money this guy has, I would never trade place with him, because I would never go back to having a terrible physique.
If you wanted to give me 20 million USD with the requirement of me living my life in a terrible skinny-fat body, I wouldn’t take it.
Does this mean you should ignore wealth? No, it’s all about balance.
You want to be healthy and make enough money to support your family or yourself and be financially secure.
Remember, even the richest man in the world can only eat one meal at a time and sleep in one bed at a time. After a certain point, health should become a much bigger priority than wealth.
Be proud but stay hungry!
Oskar Faarkrog, ISSA Certified Trainer
Oskar, the insight you share in this article (in particular in the first section) really hits home. That no one will truly support you in your endeavors to change and improve yourself because it makes them feel inferior. Especially the point you make that no matter how much we may try to explain to our friends and family to understand our ambitions, they still will try to keep us at their level (in homeostasis), struck a deep chord with me.
I have only recently experienced how true these statements are. Your thoughts confirm this for me and they give me a sense of inner peace because now I know that I don’t need anyone else to “approve” of my goals or give me support in them. This boosts my drive to keep going at my goal of achieving a great physique.
I actually went to the beach and walked around shirtless after reading your article. Having never gone to the beach specifically to do just that, I definitely took notice of reactions from the sexy chicks, mainly stares and smiles.
It’s an ego boost for sure but also a great way to reward yourself for your efforts at the gym. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion.
..and to anyone reading this I have only been training for 1.5 years. If you do it right, you will get your desired results. Keep in mind that if you train you already probably look better than 90% of the people out there.
Oskar Faarkrog, ISSA Certified Personal Trainer
Great comment. Remember to enjoy your body, that’s why you work for it! Many bodybuilders keep training hard and dieting for years while forgetting why they started.
hello! you know…after a year and half of training i still eventually hit your training posts to remember how much more you can still achieve, it has served me alot!
I’m glad you enjoy the content Pedro. How has your progress been so far? I remember you commenting from time to time.
well i still have alot to do, reps are gainged slowly, but in general ive seen great changes in the very right places, i got to admit, without a good lighting is harder to tell but with a good light i can see my abs, the chest definition, even the V cut, and of course that shadow caused by the lats and i don’t sacrifice at all in my diet i can eat everytime i want, and most important i can train everytime i want
Sounds good Pedro, you see changes and you’re enjoying the process. That’s the best situation to be in.
Great article Oskar!
Definitely worth sharing on your website mate :)
Thanks mate, there will be much more coming soon
Yo tight post Oskar!!
Thank you :D
Damian @ Dareandconquer
That’s a truly amazing article oskar! I am glad you decided to share it so most people can have access to this resource.
You are pretty right about all your statements Some people feel uncomfortable when you are taking steps to becoming better. Another reason that they will comment on your change like that is that they just try to seem “smartasses”. Or they just can’t get it.
Confidence crafted in the gym is priceless! It can be utlized in every aspect of human life. Look what Arnold achieved after bodybuilding.
Thats what i was saying, superb article
Thank you very much Damian, I appreciate it.
Awesome man , its quite inspiring :)
Oskar Faarkrog, ISSA Certified Personal Trainer
your blog is so helpful :)
i am very thankful
i hav same gynecomastia which you used to have.
i am getting lean and can i do flat bench press along with incline???
will it improve my condition?
Yes. So true.
Oskar, I came across your articles yesterday and read your free e-book this morning. Best fitness advice/ presentation I’ve ever read. Intelligent. Honest. Credible. Balanced. So many things I suspected you’ve actually validated. Thank you, I plan to read more of your articles. Like many other readers here, much of what you’ve said really hits home..
Thank you I appreciate that and I hope you make some good progress with the advice here