Article last updated: February 2018 by Oskar Faarkrog, ISSA Certified Trainer
Prior to starting my skinny-fat transformation, I was so pumped about discovering bodybuilding, that I immediately told my parents about my goal of getting ripped.
My parents told me that I shouldn’t “waste” my time on building muscle at the gym, since I don’t have the genetics for it.
When I asked my mom to buy more protein-rich foods, she said that she won’t support my “crazy” bodybuilding goals.
When I asked her to stop buying candy and baking cakes, she rejected it.
When I asked her to take progress pictures of me, she laughed.
However, at the age of 19 I moved away from all the negativity and then things took off…
Moving Away From All Negativity
Moving out was one of the happiest days in my life.
After living by myself for just a week, I realised how much better I felt without negative people around me.
I learned that unsupportive and negative people drain energy out of you.
After moving out, I felt a huge increase in energy.
I started buying the healthy foods I needed, and I cooked everyday.
I hit the gym harder than ever.
My fat started melting off.
My mood was better.
While living at home, I gained 35 pounds of mostly fat, and struggled losing it.
The first 2 pictures below are the progress I made while living at home. The 2 last ones, are the progress I made after moving out.
I was partly able to make that progress because I was in an environment that enabled me to do so.
There were no negative people telling me that I can’t transform my body.
I always had a kitchen stocked up with meat, eggs and rice. There was no candy, cakes or junkfood lying around.
I can safely say that changing my surroundings enabled me to transform my body.
How to Deal With Negative Parents
Just because I moved out, doesn’t mean that I don’t talk with my parents anymore.
In fact, I have a much better relationship with my parents compared to when I lived at home.
My mom cooks healthy food when I come over.
They don’t laugh of my goals anymore, since I’ve outdone all of them.
However, the relationship has changed. Now I’m in control:
- I see them whenever I want. This means I see them about once a month.
- If they bring up negativity, I hang up the phone or leave their house.
- I don’t ask them for support in my goals.
Unfortunately, not everyone has the option to move out.
But, everyone has the option to take control of their life.
If your parents don’t support you in your goals, stop asking them for approval.
When you ask for their approval or support, you tell your subconscious mind that you need their support to transform your skinny-fat body.
That’s not good for you, since you know they won’t give you that support.
Therefore, don’t try to convince them that you’re going to transform your physique.
If they’re negative people, they won’t understand your way of thinking.
Just smile and nod whenever they say something related to fitness.
And most importantly, start taking control of your life.
Get a job; money gives you the freedom to buy the foods YOU want to eat.
Spend your time outside the house as much as possible. Go to the gym and make friends with other people who hit the gym. Hang out with them as much as possible and go home late.
Finally, as soon as you’re able to: MOVE OUT.
How to Deal With Negative Friends
“The gym is only for losers… You don’t need muscle to get girls.”
“Why do you waste your time at the gym?”
“You don’t have the genetics to get ripped.”
If you’re trying to transform your physique, and you have a friend that says something along those lines, then the solution to that is simple:
STOP SPENDING TIME WITH THAT FRIEND.
You can’t choose your parents, but you can choose your friends.
You want to choose friends that have a positive impact on your life:
- They motivate you to achieve your goals.
- They believe in you.
- They give you valuable feedback.
Unfortunately, it can be difficult to find those kind of friends… Especially if you have high standards for how you want to look and lead life.
But, I can safely say that it’s better to have just a few friends that have a positive impact on your life, rather than dozens of negative friends who bring you down with them.
So, when that negative friend asks you to hang out, say you’re busy.
Do that over and over again. After a while he will get the message.
4 Steps to Deal With Negative People
When you get into fitness, your mindset changes.
You start seeing possibilities.
Unfortunately, there are negative people out there who don’t share the same mindset.
Those people are everywhere. They can be your parents, friends, colleagues…
However, there are 4 simple steps which you can follow to deal with those negative people:
- Identify the negative person.
- Reduce the time you spend with him. Say you’re busy when he contacts you.
- When you happen to spend time with him, don’t talk about your goals at all. Don’t ask for his approval or support.
- In the case he brings up the topic first, just smile and nod, and leave him alone so you can go do your own thing.
It’s that simple.
If you follow those steps, you will be bulletproof to negative people.
In a few years, they will tell you:
“You’re so lucky to have the time to hit the gym and cook… If I had that, I would be ripped too.”
That’s when you smile and nod, and hit the gym.
Image credit: Live Life Happy